It's The End Right?

I think it's the end for me and Sergio. All we do now is defending ourselves and pointing out that each other is at fault. He got tired of me;tired of me being so short-tempered all the time and not trusting him when he goes out. Tired of me not giving him enough care, attention and love. It started when we went to a party last night at 10.15pm organized by the people from the school and I must say that the party was awfully lousy. The DJ sucks and I was practically alone with knowing no one from the school. Most of them were friends of Sergio which I also know but I don't really know how to communicate with them. Since I was tired and my leg was hurting I decided to go back to Sergio apartment to sleep or watch a movie. So after 2.30 am he was still not back and I started to get worried. So I went down to check how the party was and was also thinking of joining it back Sergio but the party was boring as usual and decided to let Sergio had some more fun since most of his friends were there. Then I came back home kindda upset with the party and decided to sleep for awhile while wanting for him to come and ring the doorbell in probably in 30 mins or so. At 4am I woke up and he was still not back yet, I got really frustrated already and messaged him "hey, dun come back k.morning" and guess what he replied "Yea ill explain" He got me to the point where I was totally in anger and upset that I decided to pack my bag and walk back to my house in the wee hours of morning. So I walk down to the party and saw that he was there and still drinking i think his 50th bottle of beer. I was thinking great hes not going to come back and I messaged him to come out and take his keys so that i could go back home. He told me that he had to discussed something with the people that organized the party and in a little while his going back. As I am I had no patience and so many other thoughts were running through my head, I immediately told him "Nevermind, i'm going home. Here are your keys." and he pulled me and told me to go back home with him. So in the end i took pity on him and decided to go back with him to his room. Once we got into the room he said that "You know what, I'm tired of fighting with you. After Costa Rica, it's over" I dun know what to say I don't know do. I feel so lost at that moment and I do not want to lose him. He keep on bring the old stuff about Sooraj and those guys which were flirting with me and I keep on telling him that I am not like that anymore I love him and the only person that I think is him. But he just blew everything up and as I was confused and lost. I also rised my voice and begged  him to stay with me.We quarelled the whole night till he decided that he had enough and went to sleep. It's okay that the night was very cold and he had hugged all the covers. I actually went to the toilet and cried and tried to sleep but I though that would seem very childish and so I decided to hugged Sergio through the night so that I could at least feel his warmth. I do not want to break up with him like that. Hes always been my pillar of support and the only guy who makes me feel better of myself cause hes there with me. I want to see us so much longer and I am so attached to him. I don't know how and don't want to let him go. Whatever guy that look at him, my heart says sorry I'm attached to someone already and hes Sergio Santisteban. But he will never trust me when I say that. If that is what you want, then thanks for all the things and thoughts that i was thinking about you all the time.

I Found It Back!

I found my purse back on Monday! The people in Zebra founded it and called the school back. Went there and yep, it was my purse. Everything was there except the money. =(

What an unlucky day.

Great, today was the most unluckiest day ever again. My purse got stolen in H&M. My B-permit was inside, my  600 Euro and 61 Francs was inside which I took out on thursday for my France trip, my debit card, my Glies 7, my Insurance card, my student card, my Malaysian IC, my necklace, my emulate, my praying things, my coupons, and other stuff. Great. All got lost. And the worst part was I am going to France next week and my 600 Euro. Ugh, my heart drop dead on the floor. Gosh, why am I so unlucky. It happen that I was shopping at H&M then there was this girl who knock into me twice. The first time, when she knock into me, I though that what the hell, I am also looking at these clothes okay. Then the second time when she knock me she had a lot of clothes with her and were squeezing behind me. then after she got through, I found that my bag was open and went to check if everything was inside, then I found out that my purse was missing. I got panic and try finding it under the the racks of clothes but it wasn't there. Then I went around searching for that girl but she was not there already. I quickly called angel and raven to tell them what had happened. They were so nice to help me go to school and tell the nightguard but it was not much of a help. We then wet to the police station to make a report. I gave the policewomen details about the woman which was she look like a indian and gypsie a bit, shorter than me and had like dark brown eyes i guess. That was all I remember. Ugh. I should have been more clever to take out the much sum of money and left it at home. I'm soo dumb and blur. I want to improve myself. I really want to. 

Hi There!

How's everything? It's been so long since I have been blogging. School started this week and I had like all the good teachers that I like. Closed down my Facebook recently cause it kindda demotivated me and so. So now it's back to blogging and looking at people's tumblr I guess. I have been pretty upset and all with my boyfriend for a few months now. Don't know why, probably I thought he is perfect in every way and when he does something wrong I just think that it get to my nerves and frustrates me. For example when he doesn't go to school and such with the excuse of being sleepy and all it just frustrates me cause he used to be not like that and maybe cause I am a "always-go-to-school-girl" when he doesn't go, I just think like he doesn't really care about school. Been having ups and downs in this relationship since coming back after my Internship after 6 months. I think it's in a way my fault cause I'm very short-tempered, low confidence and insecure with how I look most of the times. So with Sergio in my life right now, I think he's the best person that ever help me in my life and I just hope that he kindda change for the better a bit. But anyways, in the end this guy made me melt my heart for him everytime we spend our time together.I want to give special thanks to Everlyn Chew cherryxcupid.blogspot.com  cause I think her blog is so nice and I love it how she writes her blog. By the way,during the term break I went to Lugano with five other friends!

Yep, we slept at the train station!

Beautiful izzit it?
Here are some of the photos that I took there before my battery unfutunately runs flat.

A mornring supermarket typical here in swiss!

Me standing behind a waterfall. <3

This place was beautiful called Gandria, with small houses located on a cliff.

Thats all. Not much pictures, sorry! Hope you enjoy your day! Oh and sorry for my blog, not a very good blogger yet.
                                                                                  

Nobody likes me.

Nobody likes me.

Answer here

I'm Open But This is my Limits.

Wear my shoes and tell me how much it feels. They're kindda glittery but it hurts like a bitch. 

I'm using this colour coa it's not my favorite colour and thats how i feel. Anyway, sometimes i ACT like a total naughty girl and people might say i'm like dirty minded. BUT, FYI i say dirty I don't think I can ever do that when it's hands on . I feel traumatised and digusted if I ever think about you thinking that I would do something like that. 

When you think that all skies are grey.

Like always,my blogs are always late and un-updated.Last two days I had just this stress break down and I cried like crazy.It was about work and also somethings that my "boss" to me.At work is like since my co-worker,the Hong-Kong girl quited I have been doing the service kindda alone and sometimes only one or two of my boss friends will come and help but still I feel like I'm doing the whole service alone.There is also another Malaysian girl working with me but she works at sushi bar and only comes out and help me once in a while and sometimes I think even she helps she only does the things that she wanna do,leaving me doing most of the jobs still.I mean like sometimes I know I need help but I'm kindda afraid to ask and I have this initiative to do the job on my own just to show I'm a hardworking girl which I know I am.There is just so much stress trying to do my best at work till like my mind is like constantly thinking about work and I don't even know when will it ever rest.I mean a lot of people will say "When you finish work,leave your mind at the work place and when you are at home,don't think about work." I don't know,I just can't seem to do that, and the only time I don't think about work is when I'm talking to Sergio.He gives me peace and let my mind rest for awhile.I just broke down in the shower and cried letting the water run and I cried myself to sleep too.Probably It's my first working experience and that explain all the pressure. Iwould usually try to think that I can get through it and stand up for myself like what I did when I was back in high school, in St.John and Interact.I just had to be patience for another 10 days and I'm done.I'm sorry that I can't work for another 4 more days.The first agreement was until 14 June and I have been trying to do my best every morning and every night. My mind is constantly about work and sometimes I feel like I have been left out and I think I deserve more since I have been trying to do my best and been working really hard till now.I don't want money.I just want to feel like more appreciated at work sometimes I just hope that people will treat each other people better.I'm just so so so tired.Wanna be back in school so badly.Let the days pass quickly please.I sometimes think I have killed myself thousand times in my head.