You Are Always The Opposite But I'm Afraid Of losing You.

Junebug, I remember everything
The blue carpeted floors, the tall wooden doors
I held you in my arms
Junebug, I’d burn down a picture of a house
Say it was ours, when we didn’t need it anymore

And that was when I loved you best
We were kids then
We shouldn’t think about the rest.

Oooooh aaaaaah oooohh

You’d put the moon in a basket
On your bike front by the coast
The way your face lit up in pale grief you were a ghost.
You liked to play with darkness
All the universe could give.
I was the home you once tried to escape
The dark in which you lived.

And soon they’d find you laying there
on several different homes
They’d find you laying on their porches,
did you need to use the phone?
And lure you into their rooms,
That was the last I heard of June.
That was love I could not allow

You were beautiful then,
You’re just a coke jaw now.

Oooooh aaaaaah oooohh

I remember everything
I remember everything
I remember everything
ooooh ... oooooh
Ohhhhh

You were beautiful then. I’m still in too deep.

Oooooh aaaaaah oooohh

I Wanna Hug Someone Like This.

<3lovelyn<3

it is that difficult right.

• i thought that telling you would make you care for me more, but it just didn't happen
• instead of asking whether i was fine,did i got hurt,promise to walk me everywhere,whether you could kick that guys ass next time if i saw him,asking my friends to take care of me,it just all went to waste.
• is a "Sorry,telling me that you will be there for me next time."and giving me a hug that difficult?
• instead of telling me those things,You ask me to be more matured,think and instead of acting like a 15 year old.
• i'm thinking of not being rescued.
• can you stop asking your friends to get involve when we are resolving our problem?
• giving me flowers and buying me stuff won't resolve anything at all,after what happen to me.
• I got kissed and touch all over is A BIG DEAL..I"M A GIRL.THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE.IT IS SOMETHING.
• your friend saying that you are willing to sacrifice to be with me 24/7..IS NOT A WISE THING to say to me.
• I SO WANNA SHOT YOU WHEN I TALK TO YOU.I HOPE I CAN SHUT THAT FRIEND'S MOUTH OF YOURS.
• lastly,i hate that i love you.

FML..yesterday night.

 It was the day when "ST" came over..he was really nice,cooked me lunch(fried rice with thai chili sauce mushroom) and stuff.Had a nice time talking to him.Oh,and he bought 2 bottles of wine too.Drank and chated the whole afternoon. But i just feel really bad and stuff cause all the time i was thinking of "SK". But..

1. WTH..i was expecting you to call me or send me a ass-ing msg to show at least that you care for me. That is like wad guys suppose to do when their "girl" is out with another guy you ass.
2. At least try to borrow someone phone to check that i'm alright larh!
3. Go and ask my friends to check on me!( I know lar..you said you trust me..but still right.)

Was emo-ing the whole day after that cause of stuff like that and gosh,girl like me think very far.It makes you wonder whether does he really ever care about you and stuff.

Ok, after "ST" left,since i was being like super emo, I drank the other bottle of wine sitting at the balcony.Eat dinner,and went to chiaw mien room to drink like another bottle of beer.Yea,I was emo enough ok.

Here is when the whole fuck up scary shit night happen to me.

After leaving chiaw mien room from the hostel, I thought of going to "SK" apartment. Went there,rang the doorbell and waited there for a while.After like 5 minutes, no one answer and I decided to walk back to the apartment. After reaching at the porch of the apartment, i decided to walk further down to see whether is there anyone opening his door and as i was walking just now..this guy on motorbike was staring at me.

 So i decide to not give a damn since i thought it was common.Then i saw that guy stoping his motorbike at some indian restaurant further down..(still don't give a damn). Walk back to my apartment door and rang the doorbell and I didn't know that Raven wasn't there anymore..so I waited there (cause at that time I thought maybe she was in the toilet).

Then this ass-ing stanger which was that guy on the motorbike came over to me and ask me whether is there any nearby bar that I know.So i told him there's this bar further up the road which he could go and we ask me some other questions like where am I from and stuff. We chated for a while..and then he ask me whether I wanted to check out his bike.(he got a nice bike really) 

But then i said i had to go cause i got school tomorrow.WTH..he grab my hand and said let's go for a walk. I tried asking him to let go but he wouldn't..Fuck up shit he pulled me across the street and pulled me till like behind a small alley and started kissing me and tried touching me everywhere.THAT SON OF A BITCH! We stop at several places and I tried asking him questions so that we'll talk to distract him.But still he tried coming near me.Ok..at the last stop which was at the porch JUST RIGHT BESIDE "SK" APARTMENT he said "OK,we'll talk". So i said.."No,I want to go back". Then as I was about to start walking he grab me from behind and push me to the wall and started kissing me and tried touching me all over again!! I told him.."No, I don't want sex." He replied "No sex, I want you to masterbate for me". 

I tried pushing him and said no..After like a few freaking ass minutes later,he gave up...gave him a hard push and quickly ran away.WTF!!!ASS NIGHT!!

After that, I went like "SK" apartment..which was like right beside to get help.Rang the doorbell and no one answered still.Then went back to my apartment and rang the doorbell..and lucky someone opened the door for me.Went up to 2 floor.Rang the doorbell but still no one.So the only choice was going back to the hostel.As i was about to leave,Raven, Angel and Jia How was right at the door porch..and on the right on the way back guess who,"SK,P and Cin".Asshole, said that you will come over,(ok,probably i was back in the hostel when you came,idk,or you just presume that i was busy)WTH..i was just like"Fuck you went out,din even ask me or fuck give me a call."

2 outcome could have happen to me..

1. i would usually get drunk like real fast after like a half a beer.I would just be really sleepy and lose my control.Last night I could like get really ass drunk cause i drank wine and a bottle of beer.I could have get on the guys motorbike and never will be seen again.
2. Get raped.

Told what happen to evy and the rest but not yet to "SK".Fuck this guy he's always M.I.A and changing numbers.It's not that i don't wanna tell him,it's just that he's going for an interview tmr..and i don't wanna give him stress and get him worried."You said that you were gonna came and see me but you didn't". And..after all the shit that happen to me..i saw you with P and Cin a few minutes after that.(again the girl that i said in my few last post that you guys were now ass-ing close.)

It's not that you're with the girl or what.REALLY.It's just that i thought that you saw me and i expected that you will show up after that but you didn't.

Like what evy said "He's the closest to you,like right opposite our apartment..and yet he could not protect you".

YouAnd Me

It's the first day of the second week and it's a day off for me!Kindda talk it out with him yesterday and i think i gotta learn not to be too selfish in relationships and got to learn to give and take at times.I know i'm a jealous bitch who gets angry easily.I mean ok..i know that u guys treat each other as sisters or close friends but how can i not be jealous right?since she always know where are you and i don't.I don't want you to get hurt and with those people ur hanging out with i'm really worried that you might be influence in the process.I don't want you to get hurt..i just want you to be like really safe.I seriously don't want my worries for you to be turn into anger and vice versa.I really care for you but with you M.I.A-ing it's scary really.I want you mine and only mine.:(


Been hanging out in the student lounge for the past few days to update my blog, Facebook,downloading some really nice songs and hearing those irritating noise when the guys play fussball.But since the weather been really cold lately..it's nice(autumn and winter is coming!)The degress is like 14 degres!

i think i'm gonna cut paper figures and paste in my room next time=)

Well,got to go i'll update more stuff when i'm back.Homeworks time baby!

lovelyn.<3

I'm Your Beautiful Monster

 peace out: lyn

Don'tYou Even ThinkOf Touching OrGetting Close WithHim!!

You,just got to know her for like a few days and u guys are already ass-ing close
And now both of you are like writing stuff on fb saying u guys are the best??!!!


Even when i'm with you,you even ask me where the hell is she?
U know what,f me off if you wanna find her.
Yea,i know the reason is that she is always alone cause her boy is not on time.


WTF..then how about me?u bastard..(yea,now i'm calling u bastard) always M.I.A. on me.FUCKTARD YOU!!

You're my friend..And at some time i totally care about you.YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR HANDS AND YOUR TIME OFF HIM!!BI-ARCH!