Nobody likes me.

Nobody likes me.

Answer here

I'm Open But This is my Limits.

Wear my shoes and tell me how much it feels. They're kindda glittery but it hurts like a bitch. 

I'm using this colour coa it's not my favorite colour and thats how i feel. Anyway, sometimes i ACT like a total naughty girl and people might say i'm like dirty minded. BUT, FYI i say dirty I don't think I can ever do that when it's hands on . I feel traumatised and digusted if I ever think about you thinking that I would do something like that. 

When you think that all skies are grey.

Like always,my blogs are always late and un-updated.Last two days I had just this stress break down and I cried like crazy.It was about work and also somethings that my "boss" to me.At work is like since my co-worker,the Hong-Kong girl quited I have been doing the service kindda alone and sometimes only one or two of my boss friends will come and help but still I feel like I'm doing the whole service alone.There is also another Malaysian girl working with me but she works at sushi bar and only comes out and help me once in a while and sometimes I think even she helps she only does the things that she wanna do,leaving me doing most of the jobs still.I mean like sometimes I know I need help but I'm kindda afraid to ask and I have this initiative to do the job on my own just to show I'm a hardworking girl which I know I am.There is just so much stress trying to do my best at work till like my mind is like constantly thinking about work and I don't even know when will it ever rest.I mean a lot of people will say "When you finish work,leave your mind at the work place and when you are at home,don't think about work." I don't know,I just can't seem to do that, and the only time I don't think about work is when I'm talking to Sergio.He gives me peace and let my mind rest for awhile.I just broke down in the shower and cried letting the water run and I cried myself to sleep too.Probably It's my first working experience and that explain all the pressure. Iwould usually try to think that I can get through it and stand up for myself like what I did when I was back in high school, in St.John and Interact.I just had to be patience for another 10 days and I'm done.I'm sorry that I can't work for another 4 more days.The first agreement was until 14 June and I have been trying to do my best every morning and every night. My mind is constantly about work and sometimes I feel like I have been left out and I think I deserve more since I have been trying to do my best and been working really hard till now.I don't want money.I just want to feel like more appreciated at work sometimes I just hope that people will treat each other people better.I'm just so so so tired.Wanna be back in school so badly.Let the days pass quickly please.I sometimes think I have killed myself thousand times in my head. 

Your's eternally.

Sorry for all the late post as always.=(Gah,I'm so not good at this and since my Internet modem broke down, going to the net is kindda hard now.I so clumsy man.Anyways, how are you peeps out there?Mine's been kindda nice in the past weekend as I was back in Luzern on Monday till Tuesday mid-day to visit my bf and we had a great time.All we did was sleeping in,watching tv, watch a horror movie which he recommended and going out on walks.


I suddenly realise that not every guys out there are nice to you and JUST YOU gotta take care of yourself in this world cause you will be the only one standing up for yourself.BUT, I'm happy I have found someone who knows me and is willing to be there for me 24/7.You really been LOADS to get me back after we broke up the first time.You know how to treat me how a guy should treat every girl.You respect me and i am thankful for that.I have never been in a relationship which I can say i feel most secure with.Never did it cross my mind that I could find someone like you here,Sergio Santisteban.You did make an impact in my life here for me.I'm happy that I'm with you.You make me feel secure(thanks for not letting me walk near the road everytime) and thanks for calling me everyday. You're the Best Boyfriend ever.

For Leonie, a Fighter.

Kong Leonie,I don't really know what to say here.I wish i was back in Malaysia to see you face to face.Talk to you, hear everything beside you, lend you my shoulder to cry on and hug you whenever you feel like crying when you are scared of whats going to happend in the future.I know the future is hard and you are trembling in every nerve of yours.As I am writhing this post,I can feel how you are feeling.I may not feel the pain but I know you are very scared.


Leonie sayang, whatever happens WE are here for you always,THE WHOLE GANG.Whenever we are here for you.Don't forget you have people like us to lean your back on and remember those times when we would send letteres to each other in school.I brought it to swiss together with me.Your friends in school,outside,family,us,GOD..will do whatever we can to keep your hopes up and you my girl,YOU CAN FIGHT THIS. I'm sorry I can't be there to hold your hand when you go for those chemo sessions and operations.BUT I AM HERE MENTALLY thinking about your health and how you are everyday.I wanna go back to the times when we go crazy and be all lesbians about everything.Wait for me a few more years okay.I wanna see you,my dear friend,girlfriend and sister in every other way.

ur hair is not black!!

cause i dye it la..=.="
why you smoke?

I wanna know more about this freaking world and me!!grr..hehe.

Can you teleport back to Malaysia right now? I miss you Ling. A lot. :(

awwww..sometimes i wonder where the word teleport come from.cause the word teleport will not exist if it somethings like that doesn't happen.SIAPA INVENTED TELOPORT??I WANT TO TELEPORT TO MALAYSIA TO C MY LEONIE!

i miss you too,kong leonie<3

I wanna know more about this freaking world and me!!grr..hehe.